Letting Go Felt Like Losing Myself

…until I realized I was finally becoming her.

I’m exhaling! Feeling good and better than ever!

I didn’t know how tired I was until I stopped fighting, fixing, proving, chasing, shrinking. Now, my body just wants to rest and for the first time ever I’m letting it.

I’ve been sleeping more. Not because I’m lazy but because I’m finally safe enough to, I’m healing. Not in a perfect, picture-worthy kind of way but in the messy, slow, unlearning kind of way.

My body is catching up with the years it spent in survival mode. Years I wore pain like perfume, invisible but loud.

There’s a silence inside me now and it doesn’t scare me anymore. It feels like truth. Like my soul has space to breathe again.

My mind isn’t racing like it used to. My chest doesn’t feel as heavy. My heart is still tender, but it’s not carrying everything anymore.

I’ve forgiven people I never thought I would, they never asked for it, this is not for them, but for me. Not everything was resolved. Not every conversation happened. But the weight? I laid it down. I’m not carrying it anymore.

I feel lighter. Clearer. At peace. Like I’ve finally exhaled. Peace is no longer a stranger but something I recognize by name.

And clarity…… Oh, she came in quietly, like morning light creeping through heavy curtains.

I know who I am now. Who I want to be. What no longer fits. What never did.

I’ve started setting boundaries without guilt.

I don’t shrink anymore. I don’t apologize for evolving. I no longer seek applause for surviving. Now I know growth is quiet and peace is priceless.

My sister noticed and said:

“I’m proud of you. I’m so happy to witness your growth.”

I could feel the truth in her voice. And that moment? It melted something heavy in me.

I used to wonder if my vulnerability would be “too much.” But sharing my first post opened up something in me. It’s like I finally allowed the truth to flow without fear of who’ll read it. I posted my truth and didn’t flinch.

These days I’m not fighting to be understood. I’m not trying to explain myself to people who never really saw me. If you get it, you get it. If not… that’s okay.

I didn’t write this for everyone.

“I wrote this for the ones who are tired of performing strength. The ones who’ve cried in the shower so no one would hear. The ones who feel guilty for resting, but are learning that rest is resistance. The ones who keep giving, healing and evolving even when no one claps for them.”

I’m not here to be palatable. I’m here to become and I’ve only just begun. I’m now in alignment! This is me now. I’m not going back.

This is my soft era. This is me choosing peace even if it looks like weakness to others. This is me choosing me.

If you’ve ever felt the kind of tired that sleep alone couldn’t fix. If you’ve ever whispered “I’m done” and meant it… Where your body asked for rest and your soul whispered “finally”.

Maybe you’re here too, at the edge of surrender, where healing begins. Then you know exactly where I’m writing from.

Love,

Becky

If this stirred something in you, forward it to one soul who’s learning how to stop fighting too.